It was 2010, our life was at a crossroads. Mica had been a music pastor at a church we loved. The people there were like extended family for us as well. I was a homeschooling mom of our three children that were in the 5th, 7th, and 9th grades.

Internally, there were major issues Mica was facing at work. In response to a change we both felt was soon coming, I enrolled in nursing school, and we continued homeschooling. The stress and pressure of it all took a toll on our marriage, our children, and my health!

Even though our situation was unbelievably hard, experiencing every emotion in the book, we never turned on each other. Since the beginning of our marriage, we have worked hard to spend time knowing each other. We have carefully listened to each other’s thoughts, stresses, and dreams through the years, developing what Dr. John Gottman calls “Love Maps.”

Love Map – the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner’s life…

Without such a love map, you can’t really know your spouse. And if you don’t really know someone, how can you truly love them? No wonder the biblical term for sexual love is “to know.”

– Dr. John Gottman, from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Genesis 4:1 says, “Now the man Adam knew [yada] Eve as his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain.” Yada is a Hebrew word that simply means “to know deeply or intimately.“

As a married couple, sometimes we struggle to keep that strong connection of “knowing” each other. The busyness of life takes over, and if you are anything like us, it is easy to lose sight of what and who is most important. Here’s some tips on building lasting Love Maps in your relationship.

How to Build Love Maps