The Fall Season of Marriage

I was very pregnant with my second child, Bethany. Pregnancy had not been kind to me this time around. The morning sickness I had been plagued with became ALL DAY sickness. Isaac was a toddler and I was working part-time. To top it all after my sickness passed, I gained a ton of weight. I was insecure about my body and my marriage during this season!

Mica commuted an hour to his full-time job and worked part-time at our local church. Every spare moment was devoted to his work and household chores. He had no clue that I was starving for his attention during this time. He was focused on providing for our family and the next task he needed to accomplish.

Needless to say, we were in a rough spot in our marriage. I wouldn’t say we were arguing, but we were drifting away from each other. We would go weeks without having real communication. He was doing his thing. I was doing mine. We were both aware things were not right in our relationship, but we just ignored it, hoping it would go away.

The primary attitude of the fall season of marriage is one of great concern about the state of the marriage and uncertainty about where things are going. —Dr. Gary Chapman Click To Tweet

How do you know your relationship is in the season of FALL?

Insecurity in marriage
Rejection and blaming
Apprehension about the future
Stressed, frustrated and worried
Relationship is neglected
Issues go unresolved

During this season, couples FALL into a danger zone. The lack of communication or arguing threatens to tear your relationship apart. Infidelity can easily occur during this season. But no matter how far your marriage has fallen, there is HOPE!

Tips to get out of the Danger Zone and into the Safe Zone again

Recognize you are in a danger zone. This is the time to save your marriage! If you were diagnosed with cancer you would put all your energy into saving your life. So now is the time to put your ALL into saving your marriage before it falls apart.
Time to talk. Schedule a time when you can be alone and talk about it. This is not a time to attack each other. Start by saying, “I’m concerned about our marriage. I don’t feel connected with you. I love you! How can we find time and ways to connect with each other again?”
Be proactive. Read A Daily Connection—Reviving Fun In Your Marriage, Part 1 for inspiration on how to connect. Make an investment and get away together. We talk about Annual Getaways—Reviving Fun In Your Marriage, Part 3 here. Read a marriage book together. Attend a marriage seminar. See a counselor. Some issues require a third person to help you work through. There is no shame in getting help!